For this week’s Because I Said So, MommaDJane and I are going to discuss: What is the longest you have been away from your daughter at one given time?Do you feel guilty leaving her even if she is with family? What are your views on being away from her if you and your wife were to go on a vacation for a long period? Do you think it depends on the age?
I have written about something similar over at Dad-o-matic that talks about about how I don’t have mommy guilt. I noticed that when I went to conferences that I would hear a lot of the mom bloggers (or women who are bloggers that happen to be moms) felt guilty for being away from their kids for so long. I theorized that I didn’t feel this way because I worked all the time and traveled for work at times. That was not to say that I didn’t miss my kids but I did not feel guilty about it. I also thought some of it had to be with that I was a dude and not a lady.
I was wrong!
What is the longest you have been away from your daughter at one given time?Do you feel guilty leaving her even if she is with family?
You may have heard on Twitter or Facebook that I got full time job at Target here in Memphis. I am loving it except for one thing. For the last 2 months since I was let go. I have been home every single day. I have spent a lot of time with my wife and kid. I thought I would be so happy to get away from them once I got a job. I thought the amount of time I was spending with them was bad for us. Wrong again!
Before I got let go from work. I would spend about a week or so away from my family for work every couple of months. I also went to a blogging/social media conference that would take me away for an extended weekend. I never felt guilty because I worked 40 hours out of the house. My wife was a stay at home mom so we did not have to worry about child care.
Being an executive manager at Target (or any retail) is not a Monday – Friday/ 40 hour a week work week. It is a lot more. That doesn’t bug me. I knew that before hand and still wanted the job. It is just I got used to be home and being around and it has spoiled me. I am not the only one either. Wednesday night, my kid stopped wearing pull ups to bed. We had a little ceremony where she threw away her last pull up and said “No more, I’m a big girl now!”
My wife tells me yesterday my kid ran into our room and was so proud that she made it threw the night without wearing her pull up or having an accident. Our daughter noticed I was not there and went on a search through the house to tell me about this great accomplishment. She went looked in the recliner, the office, and even the bathroom. I was no where to be found and she was a little upset. That breaks my heart.
What are your views on being away from her if you and your wife were to go on a vacation for a long period? Do you think it depends on the age?
We have not done this yet. The last time we went on vacation, we took our daughter with us to the beach. That was about 2 or 3 years ago. When my wife and I get around to taking a honeymoon, we probably will not take our daughter. We will plan it so either my mother in law is out for the summer or my mom is on vacation and ask if they could help out. Our daughter is 3 and a half so I don’t think it will be an issue. If she was younger, I woudn’t leave her for more than an overnight trip. My thoughts are that if our daughter can tell you what is wrong (hungry, diaper is wet, etc) then she is old enough to be left behind for extended periods of time. If our daughter could not express what was up then I would not want to put that pressure on someone else especially our parents. They already raised their kids and served their time. They shouldn’t have to do it again.
I am heading over to MommaDJane to check hers out. Why don’t you join me? (It will probably require you to stay inside a little longer but it is worth it.)
Have a topic or question you would like to hear our views on? Have you always wanted to hear both sides of a topic or answers to a question, unbiased? You can submit topics or questions via comments or even anonymously to buckdaddy@buckdaddyblog.com. We will pick questions at random and blog on one topic per week.
Man, this is so tough. Shannon and I struggle with this all the time. Ultimately, I think it’s good to have some parent-only time but when you’re working/traveling all the time, how do you carve it out? Sometimes just a night away can be all it takes to reconnect. Sadly, there are no right answers.
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Man, this is so tough. Shannon and I struggle with this all the time. Ultimately, I think it’s good to have some parent-only time but when you’re working/traveling all the time, how do you carve it out? Sometimes just a night away can be all it takes to reconnect. Sadly, there are no right answers.